All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize