I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Holy sore nipples Batman
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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