I can tuck mytits in my pants
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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