I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
