I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
