Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
