I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
