So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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