Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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