I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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