i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
