mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
