I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
