i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
