Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
