I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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