I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
