summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
