did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
