I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
