I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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