THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
