Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
