first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
