there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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