I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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