OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
