I can tuck mytits in my pants
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
