He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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