from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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