This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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