If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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