sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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