We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
