ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize