he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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