Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So vagazzling was a success
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
