would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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