so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
