Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
