the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
worst night to have a conscience
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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