Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
