i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
