Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
