so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
