yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
