I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
