I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
