im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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