I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
