Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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