fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
